Roger Ailes: The Movie “The Leg Chair”

Roger Ailes Fox News Legs Channel

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SRR JULY 2016 – Roger Ailes Fox News Legs Channel

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, everybody knows that Fox News is The Legs Channel. And Roger Ailes is the genius behind, “The Leg Chair.”

But what makes the Roger Ailes story so fascinating is that men around the world love looking at legs – and therefore, men around the world (secretly) loved Fox News. And we all know we’re not going to admit that – because we don’t need a longer sentence added to our years of sleeping alone on the living room couch.

In July 2016, the world finally came crashing down on Roger Ailes when Gretchen Carlson slapped him with a lawsuit for Sexual Harassment. And it’s not that he didn’t deserve it. Based on multiple other allegations, he got away with a lot more for a much longer period of time than most of the male race (but not all). And to be sure, many women benefited from it all (while many where sincerely Sexually Offended). So this is yet another classic tale of a sexually addicted male that becomes blind to his own compulsions. Eventually, to lose it all – in the name of Sex Addiction. (Yes! Sex Addiction is Real – and it’s Not Good.)

Outnumbered Best Leg Channel

For the record, the chick on the right secretly knows what men like to see.

Roger Ailes – Creator of “The Leg Chair”

But here’s the challenge. How does this movie start? To be honest, I have the same questions about the Bill Cosby screenplay.

Do you go back to the early days, when he was possibly attractive? Or do you just jump right into a scene where he’s really gross? Yes, I agree. Let’s go with Really Gross, first.

Scene 1.

A fat, lethargic ROGER AILES is in his office, closing a drawer with lube and a stack of Playboy magazines. Still seated, he says, “Come in.”

The door opens as a SEXY YOUNG BLONDE girl walks in.

SEXY YOUNG BLONDE: “You wanted to see me Mr. Ailes?”

He doesn’t get up – which seems weird. In fact, we haven’t seen his face yet. Just from behind his head.

ROGER AILES ( POV ): “Yes, yes.”

She begins to take a seat.

ROGER AILES: “Please don’t sit down.”

SEXY YOUNG BLONDE: “Sorry, Mr. Ailes.”

ROGER AILES: “Let me see you turn around.”

SEXY YOUNG BLONDE: “Okay.”

ROGER AILES: “And do it slowly…”

SEXY YOUNG BLONDE: “Like this.”

ROGER AILES: “Just like that.”

SEXY YOUNG BLONDE: “Is this the audition?”

ROGER AILES: “Yes, yes.”

The phone starts ringing.

SEXY YOUNG BLONDE: “Was that OK?”

ROGER AILES: “Yes, yes.”

His hand is on the handle of the drawer. But he hesitates. She’s waiting.

SEXY YOUNG BLOND: “Is there anything else, Mr. Ailes?”

ROGER AILES: “No, no, that’ll be fine. Please tell wardrobe that…”

The phone is still ringing.

SEXY YOUNG BLOND: “Wardrobe, Mr. Ailes?”

ROGER AILES: “Oh, uh…Please tell Mrs. Kelly we need to reschedule. I have to take this call.”

As she’s leaving, she quietly closes the door.

He yells into the phone: “HELLO?!”

Roll Opening Credits.

Will that work?

— SRR

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